In Appreciation of The Funnel

One almost unmentionable item in the current pandemic is the kind of equipment we need, as women, when out and about for a few hours. We may be willing to use the bathrooms at the gas stations and we may not. We know that Starbucks, Chipotle and most thrift store rest rooms, as well as those in the big box world, have closed. The stores may be open but the facilities are not.

I love that work facility. It comes from the Latin/Spanish facil, which means easy. While there may be many enormous difficulties associated with the pandemic, not to mention that heartbreakingly empty chair at your table, there are plenty of trivial ones as well. The difficulty of finding a private bathroom when you need one, or a public bathroom when you need one, is hardly a true burden. But it does make life a little difficult, especially for women.

Enter the funnel. I am 73. I can still squat but not as wide legged as might be ideal in the event of a swimsuit private bathroom experience. A swimsuit private bathroom experience is where you get dressed outside your car in the beach parking lot, preferably far away from other vehicles, on the edge, or even better in a private woods or back road where most people don’t bother going anyway. You might use the towel trick, first on top, then on the bottom, to either get inn or out of your suit. But the real trick has to do with opening both doors so that you have an almost enclosed enclosure. When we need to pee while on the road, we can do the same trick and even balance ourselves by holding the edge of the car. We can squat as far…